Going Back In Time

Yep, I am still alive. Sort of. I miss blogging...I even think about it a lot...it's just the actual blogging part that gets me. I love to write, but I think the editing photos part is what drives me bonkers. It is just so time consuming and I don't have the patience for it. Lame of me I know. So, today you get a post of all sorts of stuff. Like Halloween which I still haven't posted...and Thanksgiving...and a few rants I am sure.

*I have seriously worked on this post 4 times and guess how many times I have had to redo it? Ummm...FOUR. I add photos, save my work, plan to come back to publish and then everything, but the words are gone?! I'm about to say that Halloween and Thanksgiving never happened, except I want the documentation for our family. Super frustrating.

Halloween this year ended up being more fun than I thought it would be. The 31st of October happens to be one of my least favorite days of the year (daylight savings days always trump it). I dislike dressing up, I don't eat candy, and I think the skulls and spooky stuff is just plain annoying. So...I usually avoid it. However, this year after much deliberation we decided we would still do Halloween, but in a way that fit our family. So, here's our little Tinkerbell.

Her costume was soooo inexpensive. I made her tutu (I have a tutu making obsession...they are SO easy). I used ribbon and ivory tulle I already had and then grabbed some green glitter tulle at WalMart for cheap. We used a shirt she had from a hand me down. The wings and the wand were both from the Dollar Tree. I think I spent $5 at most.

Despite that I am a bit of a Halloween Scrooge, watching Eden's face light up every time she ran up to a door to yell Trick-or-Treat made me melt. That's when Josh and I looked at each other and said it definitely was the right decision to take her out this year. So fun. For those of you wondering how we handled the overload of candy, here's what worked for us. After we were done visiting houses we headed over to a local health food store (Lifesource) and let her "choose" some candy. Now I use the term choose loosely since technically I found the ones that were the least processed, no added junk, etc. and then put those in front of her and let her choose from there. I like to give her independence while still making sure her choices are good for her. It worked great! Now, I don't think this will always work and we will change our plans accordingly as she grows, but for now this is what we are doing. Oh and I should mention one more thing so I can remember this...Eden was all about carving the pumpkins this year. She stuck her hands right in the guts and pulled them out. This was huge since before she was super sensitive about textures, but she's coming around and is totally my child! So proud that she loves pulling out the guts as much as I do...

So, after Halloween comes Thanksgiving! I'm just rushing through these holidays. Don't worry, I'll save Christmas for another post (hopefully not two months later). Thanksgiving was celebrated in Washington with Josh's side of the family this year. We typically rotate for Thanksgiving and Easter, but since we will just be getting out of the hospital with a newborn for Easter, we decided to do Thanksgiving up there again this year. We had lots of fun celebrating in the in-laws new house. It's soooo big and so comfortable, we love visiting! My mother-in-law and sister-in-law totally rocked at decorating this year and the food was definitely delicious.

2.5 hour drive turned 5 hours equals necessary stop at Burgerville // cousin craft time // pretty tablesetting // cousin love

These last two months have been fun, but such a whirlwind. I honestly cannot believe that our little man is going to be here in less than three months. We are SO excited to meet him, but I can't help but feel anxious that it seems to be coming so fast. I need to stop time so I can catch up! We haven't even been able to start on the kids room. Currently I am trying to figure out how much I really want to do. I promised myself that no matter where we lived I would do my best to make it feel like home, but I'm sort of dragging my feet...I mean, moving again is inevitable, so I just keep talking myself out of doing much. Thankfully that funk only lasts a day and then I am back to making our space feel a little more like home. Now on to reminiscing about Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from the "5" of us! 

Clarification...we count Bella as one, there are not twins despite the fact that multiple people have asked how there is only one in that belly. Also, ummm what is wrong with me in this photo?! I don't look pregnant...I look like someone stuffed a pillow up my shirt. Not so attractive, but it was the best one we could get. 

Anyway, we are recovering from our late night drive home from Washington...relaxing, opening gifts, and waiting to start the Christmas festivities with the Phillips clan. Hope you all are having a wonderful Christmas day celebrating our Savior's birth! 

Xo.

Best Dinner Ever...No Exaggeration.

Let me start off saying this is NOT my recipe. I wish I could take claim, but I cannot. We did a recipe exchange for our MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group and I ended up with some great recipes. This was one of them. For those of you that are local, I honestly felt that I liked it better than Love Love Teriyaki...and that's saying something. No offense Love Love, we still "love" you, but I do like that I know what ingredients are being used...I always prefer food I make over food you can buy cooked for you. Requires a little more effort, but I just don't like not knowing what is being put in my food. So, for those of you wanting a great, quick, easy dinner recipe for the whole family...here it is (Ruby, you can stop reading now, you won't like it..haha). Oh and I should add that the only change I made was to use honey in place of sugar (since we don't eat refined sugar) and added sesame seeds (they are filled with great nutrients despite being so small). 

Crock Pot Teriyaki Chicken

Serves 3-4 (I halved the original recipe, so if you have a large family feel free to double it)

Adapted from Jess Eggert

Ingredients:

6 boneless skinless chicken thighs

1/3 c. honey

1/3 c. soy sauce (we use an organic gluten free one)*

3 T. apple cider vinegar

1/3 tsp. ground ginger

1-2 minced garlic cloves

Fresh ground pepper

2 1/4 tsp. cornstarch

2 1/4 tsp. water

Cooked brown rice (baked brown rice is amazing, try it, you'll LOVE it)

Sesame seeds for garnish

Directions:

Place chicken in a crockpot. In a bowl, combine the honey, soy sauce, apple cider vinegar, ginger, garlic, and pepper. Pour over chicken. Cover and cook on low for 4-5 hours (depending on your crockpot) or until chicken is cooked through and tender. Remove chicken and set aside, keep warm. Place the leftover sauce from the crockpot into a saucepan and bring to boil. Combine cornstarch and water until smooth. Gradually stir into sauce and let simmer until thickened. Serve over chicken, rice, and veggies of your choosing and toss on sesame seeds. 

The person who gave me the recipe suggested using broccoli slaw (I've seen this at Trader Joe's and at Winco...I'm sure you can find it at any store). What a great suggestion that was! I simply sauteed it in a bit of coconut oil until softened and slightly brown and we were both raving over the flavor. You must add it! 

So, definitely try this one. Josh even raved over it despite the fact that he has a cold and can't taste a thing. Yep, worth it.

*Whether or not you choose to eat gluten, I will always recommend an organic soy sauce. For those of you watching out for GMO's, soy is notorious for containing lots of them. Pregnant or not, I don't want nasty chemicals in my food.

A Little More About Israel

Time for me to introduce you all to Israel. He's obviously not here yet, but I haven't had a chance to really chat about our baby boy yet. Plus I may have promised a reveal video to you all, and we may have been unable to use internet in our hotel, so I may have been harassed a few too many times for not posting it sooner....

Let me just say I have felt like the baby inside me was a boy the whole time. It was weird. I had no reason to really think it would be, but I just KNEW we were having a boy. Ironically, Josh truly believed we would have four girls. Of course when we found out it was a boy, most said (innocently I'm sure) how Josh was probably so excited to have "his boy." To us we don't see it that way. Neither of us have ever cared what our babies were. We just feel blessed to be able to have these babies and know that God had our family planned out long before we even thought about it. So, despite what people think, while we are over the moon excited that we are having a boy, we would have been overly excited to have a girl as well. We don't believe that because we have a boy and a girl we have a "perfect" family. I am sure those that have all boys or all girls certainly don't think their family isn't perfect. When we go to adopt we will not specify gender. Just as we don't have a say in who joins our family through pregnancy, we will let God decide who will join our family through adoption. Sorry, just wanted to be clear that our babies are very important to us no matter what gender :)

Seeing this boy on the ultrasound was the best feeling. With Eden we had sooooo many ultrasounds for many different reasons and this time around we haven't had any complications that require an ultrasound so we happily waited 19 weeks to see our little boy. By happily I mean we were bursting at the seams to see our baby's sweet face, but were happy that we didn't have a reason to see him sooner. Thankfully the ultrasound tech that we had was gracious and looked at the gender first thing. For Eden we had to wait until the very last minute! Josh and I both can read ultrasounds fairly well (since we had a lot of practice last time) so we knew it would be obvious to us if we were having a boy or girl. It certainly was obvious. I have no doubts that we have a little boy coming. After that ultrasound we had to prepare for our reveal video to our family. We made ourselves wait an agonizing 9 days to reveal it to the rest of the world since we were determined to announce from Disneyland. We had also picked out a pair of shoes at Nordstrom for a boy or a girl so we ran over to pick up our cute little boy Adidas (I'll have to share a photo of them...they are adorable). We quickly worked on our reveal video so we could send it off to family at 6 p.m. on the dot. It was the first video I have ever made and if you haven't heard me say so, I am quite proud of it. Without making you wait longer, here is the link to watch the video. Crossing my fingers that it works...Josh promises that it will...

WATCH ME!

We are seriously so in love with this little boy. 

Every name that we choose has to have meaning. I think that's probably true for most. It is so scary choosing a name for a baby that they will have to live with the rest of their lives. We had prayed over names and had a boy and a girl name picked out before we were pregnant (come on..you know me by now..). Let's just say, Israel was not the name we had picked. In fact, it wasn't even in the running. The story of the name is this, Josh was working one day and a little boy named Israel came in. He chatted with him and texted me saying he LOVED the name. We chatted more about it and he said he felt like it was the perfect name for our son. Um, excuse me?! We had the perfect name for our son! I liked the name, but it just wasn't what I had planned on. I prayed, hard. The answer quickly came to me...if Josh felt so confident that this was the name for our future son, then that was the name. So, our other name is now ready for another boy if God should choose to bless us with another son and I have no doubts that Israel is the perfect name for our baby.

The name Israel means "God perseveres." What a beautiful and strong name. For us, we couldn't think of a better name for our baby to carry the rest of his life. We pray that he will understand it's importance. 

His middle name was one we chose long ago. John was not only one of the twelve apostles of Jesus, but that name also belongs to Josh's grandpa. We like to choose middle names that honor a family member. Eden's honored my grandpa, while Israel's honors a grandpa of Josh's. We love the combination of the two names. 

I have so much more we could share...and one of these days when I get my computer files recovered from my old computer I'll be able to share my bump photos that we have been taking. One of these days I'll get them back...

Thank you all for your sweet words about our baby boy. We so appreciate all the excitement you all have for us! We can't wait until we can see his face...because seriously if his ultrasound photo was any indication, he is one handsome little boy. And I am obviously not biased one bit. 

Love you all!

*The DIY Surprise Lantern used in the reveal video came from the blog, Oh Happy Day. 

It's a....

BOY!!!!!!

Can't wait to meet you Israel John Crain!

We will post a video of our reveal later :) We are so excited!

Eden: 2 Years

Eden, please forgive me for posting your birthday post almost 2 months late. Better late than never....right?!

You, my dear child, are quite the amazing daughter. We love your personality. One moment you are quietly observing everyone and everything and the next you are dancing and singing loudly and saying a million sentences at once. You can look like the most stoic child ever and yet you rock the facial expressions. You have so many manners for a 2 year old and we are so proud of you for that. You are great at expressing your emotions and have started to let us know when you are sad, scared, mad, happy, etc. You are also the girliest tomboy we know. You will hold a purse on one arm while simultaneously jumping in every mud puddle you can find. You dislike dirty fingers, but will happily dig in rock piles at any given time. And so much for girls not getting hurt as much. You get hurt on a daily basis. Not for lack of us trying to keep you safe...you just really like to climb and explore.

You keep us guessing, that's for sure. 

On the day of your birthday we wanted to do something special for you. You had a family party coming up that weekend, but we couldn't miss out on celebrating our firstborn on her actual birthday. We took you down to Riverfront Park and let you ride the carousel until both mommy and daddy were sick. You got to run around in the grass and then we took a walk to a fun alleyway to take some photos of your sweet face. Then, daddy surprised you with a trip to Dutch Bros. for your very own "coffee." We spent the rest of the day just doing whatever you wanted. I think that's how we will always spend birthdays...it was so fun and so relaxing. 

Eden Rae, these last two years with you have been fun, challenging, and the greatest years of our lives. We cannot wait to see what your third year holds as you get ready to become a big sister. We know you'll rock that role for sure. Love you big girl!

Project 52:43 | Blessings

There has been a lot of heartache amongst friends and family lately. I know many of them are probably having a hard time seeing the blessings among the pain...I KNOW it is hard. However, I know that God doesn't leave us in times of need. In fact, if you let Him in you may find His arms around you. Sometimes the blessings are big and sometimes they are small, but they are there. For those of you currently going through trials of any kind, you are being prayed for and you are loved. Stand firm. God has great plans for you. 

For more Project 52 goodness, check out these fine blogs:

styleberry BLOG, Lucas and Mahina, Wicked Kate, The Mog Blog, Dana Moran Photography

Let me know if you want to join in on the fun! It's never too late to start your Project 52 :) 

Project 52:42 | Rejuvenation

I'm back! I am so sad at how many Project 52 posts I have missed. I am really hoping I can post the past ones because I would really like to make this into a book in the end. Oh well, life happens.

Speaking of life..instead of getting ready for the church retreat I am heading to in 40 minutes and that I am not ready for (still have wet hair...) I am blogging. I am a great procrastinator. I always know that retreats and girls night are good for me, and yet I always have second thoughts when the time comes. I would happily just not go if I could. Ironically if you asked me if I thought I would have fun the answer would be yes. In fact, I didn't think I was going to be able to go to retreat this year and I was so sad because I remembered how much I loved last years retreat. And now, here I am, nervous to leave. I know the retreat will help me grow as a woman, wife, mom, sister, friend, etc....but I am so bad at leaving. I am not the one who wants to be away from my kids. I am so the opposite. BUT in the end I am going to come back raving about how great it was and so excited to snuggle my little family again. I hope you all have a chance to get away and be refreshed. It's good for the soul.

Love you all!

The Day I Got Over Myself And Became A Soccer Mom

If you happen to follow me on Instagram (thecrainsnest) you may have seen that we made a "big" purchase. If not, well, surprise! We bought a minivan.

Now I will have you know I've never been a girly girl. I'm beginning to embrace my femininity a bit more, but sometimes I surprise myself with my less than girly ways. Growing up I loved cars. I knew which ones were the best, which ones were the worst. I was a total car snob. My dad taught me how to take care of my own car so if my car broke down in the middle of nowhere I had the hood up right away investigating the cause.

My car snobbiness meant I would never ever ever be caught driving a minivan. I was going to be the cool suv mom. I never judged those that found themselves driving a van at all, they just weren't for me.

Fast forward to a few years ago. I married a van enthusiast. He loved their space and organization and promised that one day I would drive one. I said he was crazy (not so politely) and stomped off. I'm super mature like that.

About a year ago as we discussed having the desire for many kids versus my original 2 kid only plan (ha!) I started to open my mind to new options. It may have helped that I was driving a 20 year old car that we got when we were first married that has zero working interior lights (yes we tried adding new lightbulbs), only one car door that unlocks (unless it's cold then good luck getting in), no radio, and that had a damaged front end. Add to that the fact that only one seatbelt worked for a carseat and a van was sounding greater everyday.

When we became pregnant with baby 2 we knew it was a necessity to upgrade. While I would have happily driven the Camry until baby 3 comes along, it just couldn't happen. I could never have two kids in one car. Ummm that's just not going to work.

So after lots of prayer and discussion and consultations with my parents we figured out a way to get a "newer" safe vehicle that could last us for all of our kids school years in a way that made the most financial sense for our family. Despite my desire for an suv, the gas and insurance costs were not practical for us..we needed it to still be cost effective.

Enter the 2003 Mazda MPV with 21,000 miles that we were able to buy for over $4000 less than its worth. It doesn't have the bells and whistles of my highly coveted Honda Odyssey, but after owning a car that had few working parts, I think it's a dream come true. God totally had His hand in this purchase. The van was owned by an older couple for one year until they sadly passed away and then passed on to another sweet grandma (who had the most incredible family) who only drove it once a week. I mean, what a huge blessing. It's like getting a new car even though it's technically 10 years old.

I wasn't looking for beauty, but I think "Greta" is pretty cute. I am now a van enthusiast and will happily give you 50 reasons why it's the best thing ever. A true organizers dream...I'm excited to start organizing her :) anyway just wanted to share the new addition to our family! God never ceases to stop blessing our family and we are thankful.

Moving On And Moving Out

I owe you all quite the explanation. We moved. Over a month ago now. We knew moving was inevitable but the way it happened was so shocking that we are just now finally feeling somewhat settled again. Let me explain...

I believe it was a Wednesday. I heard the sound of the mailman dropping the mail in the slot on the outside of our house. I took note and then kept doing whatever E and I were working on. Around 12 I opened the door, grabbed the mail, and noticed something from a lawyer. I opened it quickly as It struck me as odd.

Back up a bit. On the 13th of August our house was going up for auction. Because we had an offer on our house (which was actually friends of ours) the auction date should have been postponed. Long story short..it wasn't. So we had been waiting to hear what the next step would be. We had assumed we would be given about 30 days so at the time that I received this letter we believed we had 20 days left.

We didn't.

The letter had a whole bunch of legal speak, but the one thing that stood out was the part that said we had 10 days after the auction date to be out of our house. That meant TODAY! I called Josh in a panic and he left work to come deal with everything. After a little chat with the lawyer (because certainly no one sends a letter through regular mail saying they expect you to move within a few hours right?) we found out that yes that's exactly what they expected but they would let us be out by Sunday night. Reasonable if it weren't for the fact that we had to be out of town for business that weekend.

So, a quick message to friends and we had a whole moving crew at our disposal. It was amazing. I should add that I was only 8 weeks pregnant so very few people understood why this move was even harder for me. I was sick, tired, and couldn't lift much. Good thing for friends who make you sit and relax!

So where are we now? We moved out with not a second to spare and made a quick plea to my parents for us to move in. We have been here since and it truly was a blessing in disguise. It was so helpful having extra hands to help me with Eden when I was too sick to do much. We have our own floor of the house so I think we stay out of each others way for the most part ;) at this point we are just saving up and trying to relax a bit before making any more moves (literally).

I'm thankful to be done. We loved that house but it is just a temporary home. We both recorded videos (unbeknownst to one another) for our kids to watch one day to see our first house. We learned so much and are so thankful for every moment of those lessons..even when I was in tears at times. It was hard, but we have been blessed so much through it. Thank all for your love and support!

Bye little bungalow!

Baby Update!

I just got off the phone with my doctors office and Josh tested negative as a carrier for cystic fibrosis! While we were most certainly okay no matter what they said, we are just so thankful that we do not have to worry about our baby having this. We know we would have been more than okay no matter what, but a less dramatic pregnancy would be nice since Eden was full of drama (and still is! Haha).

Thank you all so very much for all of your prayers and words of encouragement. We felt each one of them and knew we had a great team of family and friends to help us no matter what. I still have a few of you that I haven't responded to..don't think we didn't appreciate and cry through every word you wrote. You guys are the best!

Now hopefully the next update will be drama free ;) We get to see the Doctor again next week...time is flying. I absolutely cannot wait to have this baby in my arms. God has blessed us more than we ever could have imagined!

Next up..some bump pictures, I know they are overdue!

Some Baby Drama

*Fair warning...this is the world's longest post with only one photo. If you want to hear about some emotional stuff we are going through with the baby then please proceed. 

So I had every intention of doing a happy post answering all the questions everyone had as well as talk more about how we found out we were expecting and all of that fun stuff. Unfortunately, due to my annoying computer issues in which my old computer is holding onto my photos and because I know many are anxious to hear about what we are "dealing with" right now (we had some unfortunate news I guess you could say after my initial doctor visit) I am going to start with an explanation of that and then do a nice happy post about our precious little one. 

Nemo was the first thing we bought for this baby. We were at the Disney store with tears in our eyes because we are freaks up in Washington shortly after finding out about being pregnant and really wanted the first thing for the baby to be something Disney. Read: we are Disney nuts. Fact..I grew up 20 minutes away from the Mouse himself and can safely say I have been to Disneyland over 50 times. I love that place. Anyway, we browsed around and nothing was screaming "I am the perfect gender neutral baby gift." We finally happened upon the stuffed animals and we both zeroed in on Nemo. We love that little guy. I didn't realize that Nemo was going to be a symbolic thing for me later on in the pregnancy. I'll explain that in a bit.

We went to our first doctor appointment on September 8. We had that date etched in our minds and were so excited for that appointment. For some silly reason I have been extra anxious about this baby. I guess a lot of it had to do with the fact that we knew this was my last pregnancy since my body and pregnancy don't really do well together plus I have watched a lot of friends go through miscarriages lately and so I guess I just kept thinking God would decide I wasn't meant to have this one. I know I'm supposed to be anxious about nothing, but I let the thoughts get to me. I wasn't overly obsessed, but my heart and mind weren't in the right place. Thankfully I had awesome prayer warriors that helped so much and by the time I got to the appointment I wasn't anxious at all...I knew that no matter what, heartbeat or no heartbeat, God blessed me with a baby, even if only for a short time. Of course all that anxiety was for nothing (except teaching me a whole lot of lessons) because we did hear that tiny heartbeat and it was the best sound I've ever heard. I was giddy and couldn't stop smiling and laughing...so much so that my doctor couldn't count the beats. Josh thought it was 138 so we shall see. I got my initial blood work done that appointment..left almost passing out every chance I got...but the appointment was done and I was elated. 

Fast forward to Wednesday of the next week. This was 5 days after our appointment. I was in the bathroom getting ready and Eden had been playing with my phone. I picked it up and realized I had a missed call from an unknown number. I knew it was my doctor. The funny thing is I figured I would hear the words "you are low on iron" since I had forgotten that I was supposed to start supplementing with iron during pregnancy. So, I quickly dialed the number so they could tell me that and I could go back to my day. That's not at all what I heard. Iron was never used in that conversation. The nurse who had called said, "you had an abnormal result in your blood work." Again, I am just waiting to hear all about my iron count. "You tested positive as a cystic fibrosis carrier." Excuse me, WHAT?! I didn't even know that was a possibility! Somehow I stayed level headed..asked her what the next steps were..and promised I would call her back once we got the next part figured out (I'll explain that in a second). I hung up. Josh was giving Eden a bath upstairs so I walked up, still feeling okay, and the second I opened the door I fell over in sobs. It wasn't the words "cystic fibrosis" that got me at that moment, because honestly as much as I thought I knew what it was, I really had no clue. It was the pure shock. I have had a baby already. No one told me this. We would have rethought trying for baby number two if we thought this was a possibility. 

The next step was for Josh to get a blood test to determine if he too is a carrier. We had no idea this was  going to be so complicated. It was a full week of phone calls, tears, frustrations, and serious advocating for our baby. Josh doesn't have conventional insurance since he is Native American and we had never had to deal with it before so we had no idea what to expect. Honestly though, now I can look back and realize that somehow having us both advocating so passionately for this baby we have never met brought us closer to each other and closer to our baby. No one was going to tell me they couldn't help this child. Mama bear came out in full force. 

Finally, after lots of help from my nurse at my doctors office (seriously..you'll be hearing lots of raves about my new doctor...I love her and her staff SO MUCH) Josh was able to get tested yesterday. It will probably be another week (or at this rate WEEKS) before we find out the answer. 

Here is what I know. The chances of Josh also being a carrier are quite low. However, I like to point back at the fact that we had no idea cystic fibrosis was somewhere in my family (it is genetic). It is mostly found in people originating from Northern European countries. With me being one quarter Filipino and Josh being 1/123345666777 Native American (seriously though he hardly qualifies) I figured my chances would be better than his to not have it! So, while many are trying to make us feel better by saying the chances are low, I don't look at it that way. There's a reason why I don't gamble...odds are always against me. Now, the baby can only have cystic fibrosis if both parents are carriers. If Josh isn't a carrier then both our kids could have a chance of being a carrier, but that's it (they will both want to get tested along with their spouses before having children). Here's the next part to that which will explain why Eden does not have cystic fibrosis even if Josh is a carrier...there is a 25% chance that the baby would have cystic fibrosis if both parents are carriers. So, yes the odds are in our favor. But, obviously there are people with cystic fibrosis so to me its not a done deal that our baby won't have it. 

I explain it like this. Each parent has two genes they give to their child. Parents who don't have cystic fibrosis give their child 2 good genes and all is well. In our case I have one good gene and one bad gene. If Josh is a carrier he will also have one good gene and one bad gene (if we had both bad then we would have c.f.). If he doesn't he has 2 good genes. Our baby could then get one bad and one good (thus would be a carrier), two bads (would have c.f.), or two goods (not a carrier and doesn't have c.f.). Not scientific I am sure but it helps me explain it. 

So, next step. We wait for Josh's test results. If he tests positive we will then meet with a Perinatologist in Portland and learn more and decide if he want to do further testing. Our answer will be no. We do not believe Amniocentesis (which is how they test) is a safe test for us. Instead, we will proceed believing that our baby has it so we can prepare as best we can. Then, if our baby is born with c.f. we feel a bit more prepared for the life that is ahead of us. If not, then we have lots of knowledge, but don't need to use it! No matter what this baby is God's blessing to us. If our baby has c.f. then God obviously believed we were the right parents to take care of the baby. We feel confident that we can do it. The silly thing...I'm most worried that I won't know how to say the "right words." I feel like there is a right way to talk about children with different abilities and I know I'll mess it all up. Definitely something I'll be praying hard about. 

We feel blessed by this baby already. We had already discussed being open to special needs adoption so why wouldn't we love our baby no matter what? We are ready to get some results and move forward. It's been a frustratingly long week. 

So, back to Nemo. I started thinking about the fact that Nemo was born with a disability. He had a small fin. And yet, that didn't stop him at all. I just found it so ironic that we were looking at possibly having a baby that may not get to live the life we would have planned for him/her, but I doubt that'll keep our child from doing great things. Who does what their parents planned for them anyway?! So, feel free to make fun of me for my comparison, Josh did, but to me it was something that helped me. 

If any of you made it through this post, congratulations!!!! We appreciate all of your prayers and support...we have felt every bit of a it. Can't wait to tell you more about this precious baby that we are kind of obsessed with. We even made our first "big" purchase for the baby! 

Wondering what Cystic Fibrosis is, here is a link to more info. 

"God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam

and the mountains quake with their surging." 

Psalm 46: 1-3

**I tried to add comments back to my posts, but so far I don't seem to be successful. I have a fear they are gone forever :(  I had gotten rid of them because I realized my focus became on how many comments I was receiving and forgetting that this blog was really meant for us and those that wanted to keep up with our crazy family. I feel like it no longer hinders me and yet apparently I can't get them back. If you feel the need to comment you are always welcome to email me at thecrainsnest[at]gmail[dot]com. 

Eden's 2nd Birthday Partayyy

Last year after Eden's big 1st birthday bash, I made a vow that we would do something much smaller for her 2nd birthday. I stuck to that promise and I am so thankful that I did. With everything going on in our lives we needed some fun, but we needed it to be as relaxing as possible. Our solution was a family party at my parents house (also our current residence...oh I have SO MUCH to fill you all in on). My goal was to not spend much except to buy food. I can say that the only thing I spent a couple bucks on that wasn't food was Eden's scrap tutu...and even then most of the fabric was scraps I already had. All decorations were things I had on hand. Wow, did that ever feel nice. 

Another goal I had for this party was to abide to the "real food" rules. Meaning, no artificial, highly processed foods with ingredients you can't pronounce. Yes, this even included dessert. I have had so many people say that it's too hard to please the guests and too much work so they end up just buying the hot dogs, pizza, sugar loaded cake, etc. just because they didn't think it was possible to have a great birthday party without the junk. I can say it was a success and I am so happy that I stuck to the promise I made to keep the party "healthy" while still satisfying everyone (no food left = big success to me). The nicest thing was, we all felt good after the party. Usually, eating a bunch of junk leaves me feeling sick and tired. Not this time! I'll fill you in on what we did for food in a bit. Let's get to some photos shall we? 

The drinks we provided were flavored waters and iced tea. I found the "recipes" for the flavored water here. I made the Pineapple Mint (slightly sweet and refreshing) and the Citrus (without the oranges since my mom is severely allergic...it was just as citrus water should be, tangy and wonderful). We had to refill it quite a lot, but the flavor maintained its strength the whole time. In fact, we continually refilled it over the next couple days after the party and while the citrus one became way too bitter, the Pineapple Mint still had its sweet flavor. Great addition to your fridge! 

  

The food. So easy. I did one of our favorite meals, taco salad. I love the versatility of it and how it can satisfy everyone, no matter what they like. I cooked up some grass feed beef (for those of you that want to know, we love Painted Hills meat at Roth's). During the week of the party I made refried beans and black beans using the crockpot. If you haven't made your own beans you are missing out. You save money, they are free of any additives, and they taste great! Other toppings: tomatoes, corn (we BBQed it a few days prior and cut it off the cob), olives, homemade guacamole (I love making guac..its my favorite thing), local cheese, Trader Joe's organic corn tortilla chips, Nancy's sour cream (local to those of us in Oregon...great stuff!), Trader Joe's salsa (its the cheapest one and we absolutely adore it), and I think that's it! We tried to buy local and/or organic when we could. 

We also had a giant fruit salad with watermelon, grapes, pineapple, and strawberries. There were also carrots and hummus. I even had some warmed up corn tortillas for those who preferred that over a salad. 

My biggest tips for planning a real food party? Pick a menu that doesn't require a lot of work (parties are already enough work!). Write out EVERYTHING you will need ahead of time so you have an organized list (I ended up having to go to 4 stores to get everything I wanted, but I would recommend planning better than I did so you can make less trips). Prep everything you can beforehand. Some things are better left to the moment you need them so be sure to only prep what can sit for a day or two. If someone wants to help, let them! I had people going to the store for me, chopping food, setting up stuff on the tables...accept the help!  

I kept the decor simple. Again, it was all stuff I already had on hand (except the flowers). I grabbed a thing of flowers at Trader Joe's while I picked up food and then separated the bunch into vases. Easy. The garland you have seen only a million and one times on here...I use it for everything. It's next time will be in the kids room. I also had a paper garland that my sister-in-law had given me which we draped around the deck rails. A bunting I had graced the deck rails as well. One table had a vintage lace tablecloth and the other (the farm table we are still working on) had a burlap runner with doilies overlapping each other. We threw up some tissue paper pom-poms that we have collected from multiple parties to give some life to a corner of the deck.  It wasn't much, but it was perfect for what we were going for. 

Eden made this face for every gift she opened. Even if she was pulling out tissue paper. It was so fun seeing the joy on her face. Such a far cry from last year's birthday where she cried the entire time. 

That's my girl, using her muscles. Of course you saw a photo of all of the wonderful people who came to celebrate with her and helped us announce our newest addition :) 

Eden had so much fun and I am so thankful I went with my instinct to keep it simple. We have had a lot happen to us over the past few months so it was nice to be able to relax and spend some time with family. We needed that more than they all probably knew. I'm hoping to share some more about our baby...and how this baby is already keeping us on our toes very soon. Right now, I'm just focusing on Eden's birthday because birthday's are a big deal around here. Time to get moving on her 2 year photo shoot so you can all see those photos next! 

Thanks everyone for hanging in there with me while I try to get myself back into blogging again. I have missed it. 

Xo.

Coming March 2013

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDEN, YOU'RE GOING TO BE A BIG SISTER!"

More details to come!

I'm An Emotional Disaster Today

Forewarning...this is going to be a picture less post. That never happens because I am crazy and need photos.

I love my church. 

Like a lot.

But, I needed to give myself a reminder. Please never go to church without kleenex. I'm serious. I have become such a bawling baby. 

Sadly, I used to pray about this. I was not an emotional person growing up. I could go to a funeral and feel sad, but not a tear would fall. I felt guilty about this. So, I prayed. I prayed that God would make me "normal." Because obviously, "normal" people cry. 

Oh silly me. Now I can't stop crying. But, you know what? It's good for me. There's a lot going on right now, not only in our lives, but in those we love. It affects us. God is working in us in a very big way and that's a good thing. The tears are a reminder of the work God is doing. And so, I am thankful for that. 

I'm hoping to get back on and share the crazy story that happened to us with our house. Every scenario I planned out in my head did not prepare me for what we ended up going through. I know a lot of people have been asking about it, and I promise I will be back to fill you in. 

And if you are local and would like a church in the Salem area, come visit Bethany Baptist. In case you weren't aware, we love it. And I promise, you won't cry every time ;) 

Did She Say Free?!

So I'm still blogging from my phone and still don't have my photos (dear husband please please hurry up and get my photos off my dead laptop!). Thankfully I have an iPhone so I can sneak photos on here every once in awhile.

Now to the meat of this post. You all know I'm a certified (health) nut. I mentioned how we did a health and fitness challenge a few months ago and wow did it ever change us. I love nutrition and any health related topic so I didn't think I would learn much. Oh silly me, when it comes to health there is always more to learn. After "RESETTING" our way of thinking we realized we weren't just doing a diet, we were doing a lifestyle change. I would say our biggest success was our change in energy levels...I've spent my entire life tired. Literally. For once I felt like I could conquer the world!

Basically it changed our world.

Now here is the fun part. There is a free health seminar this Thursday at 7 pm at Bethany Baptist Church (sorry for those of you that aren't local but we are willing to travel so make your requests!). Trust me, you will be motivated.

You will also learn about the month long health and fitness challenge that we participated in awhile back. There are prizes and it's very awesome.

So whether you want to lose weight, or want to challenge yourself nutritionally or physically (that's what my goal was and I wasn't disappointed) come check out the seminar. The month is hard (it's called a challenge for goodness sakes) but I promise you it's all worth it. I know a lot of people who would agree. Let me know if you would like more info! Email: thecrainsnest at gmail dot com.

Radio Silence

There's going to be some silence around these parts..well, even more than usual. My evil wretched laptop bit the dust and now I have nothing. So super annoying since all of my photos are on there (totally retrievable thankfully!). Now we have to figure out what to do...I don't want to spend the money but i do a lot of work on my laptop. Decisions decisions. So, no Project 52 post today, I'll have to catch up later! Instead here's a few of the latest from instagram.

Come follow me on there, my username is...thecrainsnest.

Project 52:30 | Forgiveness

I have had to say "sorry" to Eden a lot these past few weeks. She is wanting to test the boundaries a bit more, but mostly my patience is running thin. I love my girl so much and it pains me when I let her down. 

Lately, I have felt like my mom duties were lacking. Curious George was played one too many times, I didn't take the time to read to her in the day, craft activities are pretty few and far between...basically I have felt like I was just one big complete failure. Yes, I am being hard on myself, and yet, while I am being honest, I know I am not giving her the best of me. So, after a little pow-wow sesh with the hubs, we figured out that having a little more structure and routine to our day may help Eden and I both. I loved teaching back when that was my major. For some reason though,  I haven't wanted to do that with Eden. I wanted to be able to just enjoy the day as it came. While that probably works for the majority of people, it turns out that I am not the best person I can be without some sort of routine. I have great intentions, but then it's 9 p.m. and time to get Eden ready for bed and I have realized that the moments where I was truly engaged with her are pretty hard to remember. 

Now I am having a hard time planning my schedule. There are so many things that I want to get done in a day. How do I get in a workout, quiet time with the Lord, shower, clean, do laundry, make 3 meals a day for the family, spend time with the husband I rarely see, and get good quality time with my daughter? I realize that I may be trying to fit too much into a day, and yet all these things are important. I didn't even include some "me" time in there...but mostly because I realize I am seeing to need too much "me" time so I am trying to work on that selfish attitude I have lurking inside. 

As you can see I am needing a bit of a release from all of this. If any of you have tips and tricks on how to fit everything in and not go crazy, please let me know! For now, it looks like Tot School is about to begin in this house...

**Sorry this is so late, we got to take a little trip up to Seattle over the weekend and I chose to stay away from the internet so my family could be my priority. It was a little tough, but I did it!

For more Project 52 goodness, check out these fine blogs:

styleberry BLOG, Lucas and Mahina, Wicked Kate, The Mog Blog, Dana Moran Photography

Let me know if you want to join in on the fun! It's never too late to start your Project 52 :) 

Project 52:29 | Comfort

Is that not the sweetest thing ever? I love that Eden is at an age where she knows her friends names and can play with them. She worries about them when they are sad, she follows what they do. I pray that she is blessed with friendships that lift her up. 

I am thankful for the many friendships I have had over the years. Each one has meant something different to me. Some ended over time. Some ended up not really being much of a friend. And yet some are still around. They lift me up when I am down, they encourage me, they laugh with me. I treasure you, my friends. Thank you. 

Time to head to the rehearsal of one of my good friends weddings. One who has been there for me when I wasn't much of a friend to her. One who keeps me from being too serious. Someone who pushed me to understand God's unconditional love. Pictures to come of her beautiful day I am sure!

For more Project 52 goodness, check out these fine blogs:

styleberry BLOG, Lucas and Mahina, Wicked Kate, The Mog Blog, Dana Moran Photography

Let me know if you want to join in on the fun! It's never too late to start your Project 52 :) 

It's A Zoo Out There!

We took a random trip to the zoo one day. It was the best decision we have ever made. At the Oregon Zoo admission is $4 on the second Tuesday of the month and we couldn't turn that down. We had an inkling that Eden would enjoy the zoo more than when she was younger (she loved it, but she was MUCH younger), but we had no idea that she would absolutely LOVE it. It was such a fun day...despite the fact that it ended up being cloudy and cold for a good portion of the morning, but it turned out great. Turns out Eden's favorite animals are farm animals. Yep, we could probably just go to a farm and Eden wouldn't know any different. Other animals she gravitated towards? Monkeys, birds, and the alligator. Such a funny girl she is. 

Sidenote...Eden's dress is from Africa and every time I look at it my heart starts to burst thinking about the children over there. It's funny how God brings little moments into over lives that just impact us so much. We still feel so confident that we are called to adopt and I believe our children will be with us soon. We made one *EXCITING* step towards adoption that I'll have to fill you in on later! I can't wait to see where God takes our family over the next few years...