Fail.

So I'm a Project 52 failure. I currently have no access to a computer and my camera is sitting safely at home so I'll be a bit late this time around. Sorry.

To make up for it I added two photos that I took with my phone this week. I got the great idea to put Eden's lunch in an ice cube tray from a wonderful woman I attend church with. Eden still didn't eat anything but the blueberries and tortilla (as predicted) BUT she touched every type of food and that folks is a miracle in itself. One day my daughter will love food like her parents do...

Ruby and I went and got pedicures and manicures on Tuesday. We had gotten a Groupon for it in anticipation of using it before Hayley was born. I didn't think it would happen but here we are...on her due date....still waiting to meet her. Sooooon! Of course there will be photos.

Have a happy weekend.

Pink + Gray Nursery Reveal

The moment you have all been waiting for is here...Hayley's room reveal!

Just a quick catch up for those that haven't been reading along. I am not pregnant. I wish I was, but it looks like that's not in the plans right now. Really I just have baby fever from all of you cute pregnant gals and your cute little babies. However, our wonderfully wonderful friends Daniel and Ruby ARE expecting a baby..a girl...like any day now. Around these parts Daniel and Ruby are referred to as the besties, BFF's, and "Uncle Dan" and "Aunt Ruby." That's just how we roll. Wow, I am just on a tangent today. Let's get to it, shall we?

Entering Hayley's nursery...

inspiration

So, what do you think?! This was most definitely a labor of love for a little girl who is already so loved. We honestly can't wait until she gets here so we can see her enjoying her new space. I mean seriously, she's got to be excited to get out of her current cramped corners right? Hayley, are you listening?!

I don't think I'll ever grow tired of seeing a space go from a simple idea to actual reality. It amazes me every time. I love that Daniel and Ruby gave me a lot of "creative control" and yet I would say they were some serious hard workers getting this done. They like to act all humble like they did nothing, but seriously they worked hard on their daughter's room. I will say one thing...I think we all agree that when you are pregnant, limiting the DIY is a good thing. I am pretty sure Ruby said that at one point. We had a LOT of DIY going on (many inspired by Pinterest of course) and well, Ruby, being the overachiever she is (seriously that girl can do more in a day than I can in an entire year, girl's got skills) decided to take on a bunch of projects. I loved her enthusiasm, but worried for her safety. All is well, she survived and from the looks on their faces I would say they are actually happy with the room. Good thing, cause that was our goal. So thank you to two of the greatest friends out there for trusting us enough to help design your baby's nursery. And thank you to my partner-in-crime...the hubsters...for the five million trips over to the house to install yet another shelf, paint another wall, and answer another mathematical question. That guy rocked it. AND thank you to all of you lovely readers for actually believing in me and pushing me to get these photos taken so you could see it. I was a little worried, but hey the only opinions that mattered were those of the parents (and baby of course!).

So do you like it? Anything in particular you have questions about? I'll try to remain respectful of Daniel and Ruby's privacy, but if you do have questions please don't hesitate to ask! Anyone notice that we kind of are pushing Hayley to become a reader....the girl's got no chance.

 *I'm hoping to update the photos as we finish a few things up. The gallery wall will be finished once Hayley makes her debut. The frame around Hayley's name is being touched up so the strange glimmer you see is just some unfinished painting that needs to be done...actually it may already have been at this point. 


**I'm also hoping to either A) Happen upon a new lens so that I can get crisper photos or B) Take some photos in the earlier hours when the sun is on that side of the house to get some better shots. This may help show that the walls are all in fact the same shade of gray. Sadly, the kit lens had a bit of a hard time capturing everything perfectly, but it got the job done, what more could we ask? 

Break My Heart

When I started this blog I figured it would be all about my love for everything home and design. I loooooved interior design and obviously due to the hubs career I'm exposed to beautiful homes on a daily basis. Never did I think I would go through such a life changing transformation and expose it here, for the world to see. I didn't know I would be comfortable being fully real on here. Yet, here I am. Finding out who I am and who I'm supposed to be right where everyone can see. It means opening myself up to criticism and you know what? I have come to terms with that.

The thing is, my heart is broken. I've always had a place in my heart for children..especially when it comes to children who do not have permanent homes. My heart just aches. I knew I would adopt..it started at four years old and that desire never stopped. Now I must interject and say that yes, of course I would love to say that all the children who do not have homes may be adopted by a family member. This in many cases is ideal. However, this isn't always a reality for many children. I wish I had the ability to become a second mom to all of the children who are needing a home. I know they could all teach me way more than I am capable of learning on my own.

Really I would love to just start with one. But that's just not in Gods plan right now. However Josh and I are both feeling the need to aid those who don't have homes...help those who have been left behind by a husband who has passed away..single moms....we just want to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

I've been praying the same prayer, "Jesus, break my heart for what breaks yours," on a daily basis. God was most certainly listening. We have found that our hearts are most certainly in Africa and we want to be there. We want to sponsor children so they can go to school, we want to go over and work in orphanages...we want to help in any way we can even when it seems impossible. I saw an opportunity for a mission trip to Ethiopia in July. Our gut reaction was..that's too soon, we could never have enough money to go by then. But isn't that limiting what our God can do? Whose to say that He couldn't provide the large sum of money needed for us to go. We are praying hard about it and we would love if you would pray with us too.

I designed this print in honor of my favorite song, "Hosanna." It's a line from the song that captured my attention one morning and it has stayed with me since. If you want to be challenged in a big way, pray that God will break your heart. You never know what He may lead you to, but whatever it is I can promise you'll be forever changed.

Thank you dear friends for the love you have shown us. It means so much to us each and every day.

Project 52:12 | Unexpected

Our lives are so "up in the air" right now. We know we are selling our house, but after that we have no idea where we are going. I have NEVER been good at being flexible. I ALWAYS had a plan and that plan was always neatly written in my planner. I knew what was going to happen every day and how it was going to happen. Then I met Josh's family. Every time we visit we have no idea what to expect. Literally...watch us pack our bags for a weekend trip up there...you'll see shorts, pants, workout clothes, ski jackets, swimsuits...honestly, anything can happen while we are there. That stretched me beyond belief. I had to learn to be flexible. His family is now my family and I needed to respect the way that they were. This was so very hard for me, but you know what? It was the best thing that ever happened. 

If you asked me 5 years ago while Josh and I were nearing our wedding day what I thought life would be like, here would be my answer.

"Josh will have a great job. He will make lots of money to be able to take care of our family. We will own a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house in a cute little suburb in Salem, Oregon. We will have two kids, a boy and a girl. Of course we will have a little dog too! I'm driving the kids around in an Acura MDX (my dream SUV) and Josh will have his BMW. I'll be a stay at home mom. We will be in the process of adopting a little girl from China. Josh is playing soccer for his hobby. We are involved in our church (we were at a different one when we were first married). Everything will be picture perfect."

I laugh at my naive self. I don't think it was wrong to dream and have plans, but would I be happy if life had happened that way? ABSOLUTELY NOT. At this moment we can't pay our bills. We have a 2 bedroom, 1 bath house that we are currently giving up. I'm driving a car that was made the year I was in 3rd grade, it's missing a headlight from its third accident. Josh is driving a minivan that was made the year he was in 2nd grade. It's missing pretty much everything. I am a stay at home mom, but many times feel like I'm being guilt tripped for it...as if I am not working hard enough for my family. Josh is working two jobs that are both wonderful, but neither are able to give us a stable income at the moment. We realized adopting from China was out of reach (for now!), but are feeling so pulled to Ethiopia. Sadly, we are unable to adopt with our financial issues so adopting is totally out of reach at this time. We are involved in a new church that we absolutely LOVE and can't get enough of. And we have NO IDEA where we are going to live or how often we will have to move over the next couple of years. I have renamed us the Gypsies. I have the feeling it's going to be fitting.

Can I tell you something though? I'm the happiest I've ever been. The things of this Earth are so unsatisfying to me. I love beautiful houses, but will a beautiful house make me happy? Not really. The thing is there are people that are hurting so much more than we are. They live under bridges, they don't have clean water to drink, they don't have shoes on their feet. Lately, our hearts have been breaking for the people of Ethiopia. We are starting to realize that while adoption is not a possibility for us at this time, helping the people of Ethiopia is. We aren't sure what that means, but we know we are ready for whatever it is God is going to throw our way. 

I know this became a novel simply from a Project 52 post, but this is real and it is raw and it is what needed to be written. Project 52 has become so much more than just a chance to challenge my photography...it is challenging me as a person, a wife, a mom, a friend, a daughter...this is not what I signed up for and yet it's the best thing for me right now. 

Thanks for coming along on this adventure. As God gives us direction, we'll fill you in, but for now we are just standing at the ready, waiting for our next adventure!

For more Project 52 goodness, check out these fine blogs:

styleberry BLOG, Lucas and Mahina, Wicked Kate, The Mog Blog, Dana Moran Photography

Let me know if you want to join in on the fun! It's never too late to start your Project 52 :)

My Heart

via

My heart is there. It's where I want to be. Someday....soon.

A Sneaky Peek

All the constant whining and nagging on your part worked. Ok fine there was no whining or nagging, but there was a lot of "hurry up and post photos of the BFF's baby nursery already!"

You know I'm not one to disappoint.

Well at least I tryyyy not to be.

So, this is a teeny tiny pink into Miss Hayley's soon to be occupied room.

Ruby just finished the mobile so I just need to get myself over to take some photos of the room! I can't believe Hayley will be enjoying her new space any day!

Project 52:11 | Patience

Eden is so very into exploring right now. It is so fun to watch her mind stretch as she puts things together, or takes things apart. It is quite fascinating as a mother to see your child grow. The hard part of this is the mess that inevitably shows up from all of this discovery. I absolutely want to let Eden play and have fun...I don't want to hold her back. But it is hard. Oh so hard. As a person who teeters on the Type A personality line I do admit to having a hard time with the mess. Clutter overwhelms me. And dirt? Yeah....let's not go there. Ironically it turns out Eden is more of a dirt hater than I am AND she loves picking up her toys. Score one for this momma. Yes, I know probably won't last...especially with the hoard of children we plan to have in our home, but I like that I can take baby steps. And honestly? I don't think it is a bad thing to enjoy cleanliness...I think that too helps a child, but I never want it to get in the way of growth. 

Now to figure out how to let a toddler play while also keeping the house clean for house showings. EEKS...this mommy hasn't yet solved that problem just yet. 

If you notice anything different in the layout for my Project 52 this week please just pretend it doesn't exist. My computer has chosen to rebel against me once again. Two weeks ago the motherboard went out (just assume that means the computer won't even turn on) and this morning the screen decided to just not want to turn on anymore. I very much do not like my laptop, and I am very vocal about it around this house, but come on....I need you to work Mr. Computer. I may not like you, but I NEED you. Thankfully between the hubsters and his amazingly talented friend the laptop will be restored as usual and I'll be back into working order...and not whining because I have to sit in the "dungeon" (our basement) editing on Josh's computer. How about this...I am just thankful that we have the opportunity to own computers when so many do not. There. 

For more Project 52 goodness, check out these fine blogs:

styleberry BLOG, Lucas and Mahina, Wicked Kate, The Mog Blog, Dana Moran Photography

Let me know if you want to join in on the fun! It's never too late to start your Project 52 :)

Have a super fantastically wonderful weekend! I'm off to help the parentals move into their new home! Pictures will come I'm sure (despite the fact that my dad heinously tore down the beautiful wood paneling...the guy just has no clue)...but don't get too anxious for photos, it's a 50's (I think?!) home that is stuck in the 50's. After some love this house is going to be beautiful...well...less so without the wood paneling, but I may get over it one day. Alright, I'm outta here.