Israel | 3 Months

This kid is a super grower. On top of that he is the sweetest baby. Honestly. We can't get over how much he has changed since we first brought him home from the hospital. Gone are the days of constant screaming. All he does is giggle, smile, and babble...all the day long. I LOVE THIS BOY! 

We don't have another check-up until he turns 4 months, but I did weigh him on our home scale and he is now in the 18 pound range. Yeah. That is 3 pounds more than last month. People keep telling me he can't grow at this rate forever, but I am starting to think they may not be right. YOU GUYS...how did a 5'0 girl make this baby?! I mean Josh isn't short, but he surely isn't that tall. Israel doesn't only weigh a lot, but he is also long. It is getting significantly harder to hold onto him. Ergo to the rescue this month! Here he is now..

And for funsies (new word...deal) let's take a walk down memory lane.

L to R: 1 week / 1 month / 2 months / 3 months

Israel,

My sweet sweet boy. To say mommy is obsessed with you would be such a very big understatement. I am absolutely smitten. I want to eat you up. You are taking over your mommy already in size. I thought I would have a LITTLE bit of time before you were taller than me, but my days are numbered. I have told you repeatedly that you are not allowed to look at any other girls besides your mommy, and that is final. Your days consist of chewing on your fist, sleeping on mommy in the Ergo, getting licked by Bella, watching your sister's crazy antics, screeching as loud as possible, babbling to anything that will listen, laughing at everything, and eating. Lots of eating. We have officially figured out that dairy and chocolate are not your thing. Which means they aren't mommy's thing either. The things I will do for you dear boy. You have started to want to be a big boy. Laying down is for babies. If you are in the bouncer you are just doing constant sit-ups. Dear child, please stop breaking my heart by growing so quickly. Your daddy and I LOVE this stage. You are so aware of everything and you make us feel hilarious with all of your belly laughs. You have been on so many adventures with us and we love that you just go along with anything.

Gus, you are an amazing son. Can't wait to see what this month brings!

Love,

Your crazy mom. 

Playing Catch Up

I have been terrible at keeping up with the latest events that have happened in our lives. So, this is my effort to fix that. We will see if I make it. Heads up I am just going straight from the iPhone...no big girl camera photos here.

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Mother's Day & Israel's Dedication

Our church does one big dedication on mother's day every year. I love this. It is such a special day and it is my favorite part about mother's day. Eden ended up coming to the front with us although she was already dedicated when she was a baby. I love that Josh and I are able to commit to raising our children up to love the Lord and have our whole church as witnesses to hold us accountable. We are surrounded by people who love and care for us and for our kids. It was also special having Israel's great grandma, my parents, and all of my siblings there as well. It meant so much to us.

After church we headed home for some food, gifts, and hang out time. It was a very nice and relaxing day!

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Washington

We headed up to visit the Crain side of the family for the first time since Israel was born. It was nice being able to show him off to family. Eden of course had a blast with the cousins. The three girls sure can fight, but do they ever love each other. We even attempted the kids first movie, but, ummmm...let's just say I don't want to repeat that for a very long time.

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Israel's first beach trip & Lola's birthday

This year for my mom's birthday she decided she wanted to take a trip to the beach. We headed over for the day and it was so much fun. This was the first year that Eden LOVED playing in the water. I mean she thought it was the greatest thing to ever happen to her. Right at the end she fell over into the ocean, but that didn't stop her from having fun. Next time I'll remember to bring an extra pair of panties for her...whoops.

Check out my brother. He has gotten so much more confident holding babies. So proud. And they get tired of me saying this...but won't my brother and sis-in-laws babies look so gorgeous?! I keep telling them they are robbing this world of beautiful children. Come on people. I kid I kid.

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Central Oregon + Wedding + Father's Day

Last weekend we got to head over to Central Oregon (I was recently informed calling it Eastern Oregon was incorrect). We fell in love immediately. The sun was shining, the mountains were gorgeous, and pretty much we were ready to move right over. And then I remembered that it snows. A lot. Snow ruins everything for me. I still have California sunshine in my veins. We stayed with my aunt and uncle and had an amazing time. We all have talked about it non-stop. Eden keeps asking when we get to go back to the big house and have fun. Pretty sure a yearly trip is now necessary. Now, the reason why were there was to witness two friends get married. Maggie and Jordan are like a glamour couple. They are just way too good looking for their own good. Maggie and I were best friends growing up and she was even a maid of honor in our wedding with my sister. Jordan went to college with us so that was a fun connection. Maggie was beautiful and Eden kept walking around calling her a princess. Oh and Eden? That girl. She reigned as dancing queen. Everyone was circled around our little diva while she danced her heart out until the very last song. We couldn't get her to leave! She's got some pretty great moves to Footloose if I may brag a bit.

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One more thing...

We didn't want to forget the sweet dog we rescued a few weeks back. The kids and I were driving up the hill towards our house when I saw a dog right in the middle of the road. Two other cars were approaching from the other direction. We all slowed expecting the dog to run away once it saw the cars. It didn't. In fact the dog just walked around in tight circles...stumbling as it went. My heart melted. This poor dog was obviously having some serious issues. All of us drivers just kept looking at the dog and each other shrugging. I kept hoping the other drivers would get out. The road we were on is narrow and with a baby and toddler in the car I was worried about their safety in the situation. Of course, I have been praying about feeling like sometimes we, as humans, can play it a bit too safe and never let our kids experience the wonders God created. How many great people are out there for us to meet, but we choose to hide in our safe places you know? Granted, this is about a dog...but just go with me here...I was feeling some deep spiritual moments taking place.

Well, it was obvious no one else felt compelled to get out their car on this unusually hot day, so I hauled myself out. I like dogs, but I have been attacked before so I was a bit nervous. One driver yelled out, "just grab it!" Yeah, lady, let me just do that and have a rabid dog eat my hand off. Um, no thanks. Dramatic? Yeah...but what of it? I called to the dog and slowly approached. It just kept going in those tight circles, oblivious to anything around it. Once it was apparent the dog could care less about me, I picked it up and walked it to a grassy area off the road. I thought about driving away, but I couldn't leave that poor thing alone. I tried giving it water...not happening. My heart was breaking. So, I did what any sane person would do. I opened up the rear door of the van (our van dips down in the back trunk area), threw some towels down, and placed the poor pup right on top. We then drove home and placed the dog in a kennel (since there are dogs here that would have eaten it for dinner) and spent some time talking to the dog and bringing it water. Good news, the dog perked up once it was in the shade at our house. We called the local dog shelter who said to go ahead and bring it in. We have heard great things about this dog shelter so we believe the dog either found its owner or has been placed with a new family.

Isn't it funny how God can work in our hearts even in what seems to be a very random way?

Goodbye pup...you will be missed!

Welcome!

So notice anything different? Just like my life...my blog needed some changes. My old one just never felt like me. No matter what I did to it, it just didn't work. I had contemplated doing this for a very long time, but finally felt like it was the right time to JUST DO IT (giving some Nike love there). I transferred all the old posts and comments from The Crain's Nest over, but from now on you will be visiting A Beautiful Surrender.

So, why that name? 

Well, the first name I wanted wasn't available. Seriously. And as I prayed about my blog, this name just felt right. I gave my life to Christ at 4 years old. I've loved Him ever since. However, in the past couple of years, Josh and I have been on quite the journey. We have literally had to surrender every single part of our lives to God. We gave up our house, our cars, our stuff, our personal space. Every time He shows us another area of our lives that we are holding onto for the wrong reasons, we let it go. It isn't always super easy, but it is always the best. And the result? It's always beautiful. I know that may sound crazy, especially if you do not believe in Jesus, but honestly we have never been happier, more content, and closer to Jesus than we are now. Yes, I REALLY want my own place again, I want Josh to have a job that allows him to be home with our family, I would love to have a car so that I can visit friends and do more in ministry, and I would really love to start our adoption process. BUT God will direct us down each of those paths as He leads. So, we continue to surrender. 

My hope is that now that I have a space that reflects me a bit more, I will be able to use my blog as a place for me to be me. To let out my creative side. To do what I love (write). To continue to document my family so that we have a scrapbook of sorts...because we all know I am not a scrapbooker. 

Thanks to those of you that take the time to visit here. To leave me sweet messages. Your words mean so much to me while we are in this phase of life. I generally only get to leave the house on the weekends, so this is just my way of socializing with the outside world. 

Modeling For The Camera

Our good friend, Ashley Mogford, came over and took some photos of Israel back in April. And I am just now posting them. Let's just blame it on having two kids yeah? Also, I really need to get to work on his birth announcements. Who was the brilliant person who decided to make their own birth announcements? Hey, don't look at me...

  

Selfie by Eden

  

There are so many more I could post, but a baby is asking for my attention. That kid loves to squeal and talk and giggle and I just cannot resist it!! 

Also, I love my little family. Like a ridiculous amount. 

In Which I Tell You 10 Meaningless Things

I decided today that I would number my thoughts. This was to keep me from rambling. It didn't work. 

1. I have kind of disappeared off the face of the planet. I thrive off of routine, but have never seemed to get into one that works for our family. It doesn't help that Josh has the craziest schedule of all time. Thankfully his random schedule is somehow predictable these days. Not that it makes it any better, but what can you do. Maybe one day I will have him home for dinner every day and can rely on him coming home before the kiddos are asleep in bed. I attempted a new "schedule" last week where I devoted each day to one thing. Monday was cleaning the bathroom and doing a little work in the afternoon. Tuesday is my work day (I do a little side work for Limeberry and another little fun "job") since my mom takes Eden for the afternoon. And so on... This actually worked well for me, and  I am attempting to stick with it this week. I do have a hard time letting go of the cleaning on days that aren't meant for cleaning because let's face it. I am psychotic and I can't handle germies. 

2. Life is a bit...crazy..for us right now. Crazy being the understatement of the century. So far there hasn't been an end to that craziness in over 2 years. Sheesh. I wish I could explain more, but a lot of it is something we just cannot share yet. I will say we are so thankful for a basement to rent at my parents and for food. Even if I am not so good at sharing a house with my parents, my sister, and three dogs. Sorry guys, I am still working on sharing at 28 years old. True story.

3. Speaking of dogs and humans...I have a serious aversion to hair. I mean I kinda always knew that, but being surrounded by two big dogs and 3 girls with long dark hair has taught me that I have a real problem. Loose hair gives me hives. Every time a dog hair tumbleweed blows by in our hallway I have a small heart palpitation and run for the vacuum. Again...I have issues.

4. You know how a lot of people talk about Pinterest being an issue for them? I actually find Pinterest to be very helpful. For some reason I don't feel "less than" while looking at pretty homes and fun crafts and such. I just use them for inspiration. Try to change your thinking while you are on there. Let it be something that encourages you to be a better wife/mom/friend. One thing I have appreciated while we wait for a place of our own is the chance to REALLY figure out my personal decorating style. I used to think I totally loved traditional with a twist of modern, but upon searching my boards I noticed I really tend towards a vintage/modern/farmhouse/eclectic vibe. Hmm...maybe I should make a name for that style. Vimotic Farmhouse. Yup. I am now more giddier than ever to have a place of our own (an apartment I am sure) to decorate to my hearts content. Of course using what we already have on hand because we do our best to not spend a dime. Because we have zero dimes of course. 

5. I write blog posts in my head every day. I also do this with letters. And emails. And facebook messages. And texts. Oh and I even write books in my head. Sadly, they rarely get written down. Sorry all. I am still learning to type one handed while cradling a rather large baby in the other okay? Thanks for understanding.

6. I LOVE MY KIDS. Seriously. For some reason people are under the false impression that I think having two kids is hard. That's not the truth. Not one bit. Okay maybe sometimes I want to scream, but it's usually because the dogs barked at the mailman and woke up both kids who are now crying because they are so tired but got woken up far too early. How's that for a run-on sentence? Just the other day I was feeding Israel while watching Eden play and got super excited thinking about having a big family. I always swore I would never have more than two kids...and then Jesus (and Josh) helped me to see that I was meant for a big family. I'm not an amazing mom...oh no...far from it, but training up these babies to be lovers of Jesus and  His people gives me serious joy. Now I look at my younger self and laugh. Two kids? No way....I would be perfectly content if that is all we were blessed with, but something tells me we have some beautiful different colored skinned babies coming our way. 

7. Speaking of adoption. It's funny how God can break your heart over time. Adoption has been something I have felt called to since I was four years old. That was never a question. God instructs His children to look after the orphan. I cannot say no to that. However, it wasn't until recently that He opened my heart to special needs. Josh and I are still praying hard about it, but we have enjoyed some talks as we think about what that could mean for our family. One thing we talked about was how often we say "that is for someone else." Instead of saying, "why not us?!" Just something we are praying about.

8. I am a hermit. I have always known I was a homebody. That is obvious. BUT the other day Josh said, "Mallory, you aren't just a homebody, you are a hermit." Said in the nicest way possible of course. He is right though. I am. Add to that the fact that much of our married life we have shared a car which means I don't have one and well, it means I NEVER leave. Sadly, it rarely bothers me and I know that is bad. Something I am working on. I figure if I write it down it will make me feel more convicted. Maybe.

9. This wasn't meant to be a self discovery post all about me, but well, apparently that is what I had to say for the day. 

10. This weekend we are celebrating the marriage of a friend I have known since middle school. And we get to travel for it. Which means a vacation! WOOHOO. The wedding is in Sunriver and I am so very excited because we haven't been to that area in 6.5 years. That is not okay. 

The end. For now. 

Israel | 2 Months

Better late than never right? Finding time to sit down and document this little guys life seems quite hard to do. He is a bundle of fun and we tend to enjoy staring at him much more than staring at a computer. This kid fits so perfectly into our family. He definitely "shook us up" a bit, but I'm learning his needs and things are much calmer now. Turns out that eating better helped our little boy out in so many ways. I am so glad we were able to find that out. 

Here is our boy now. He was 15.6 lbs in this photo and 24 inches long.

Yeah, so I chose to take his photo when he was both tired and hungry. The sun was going down. I had no other choice. Really. Besides, I thought it captured was his first two months looked like. Thankfully since then he has been the picture of happiness. 

Here is a look back at Gus from one week to two months. 

Israel,

Oh my little Gus Gus...Guster...Gusterson. We simply adore you. I keep thinking my heart has already exploded with love for you, and yet, somehow the love just grows more and more every day. You smile and have started to babble. Your favorite place is laying naked on a flat surface. That is when you are your happiest. I think you love being able to see our faces. Your sister smothers you and you are not quite tolerant of that just yet. You will learn. Bella hasn't seemed to notice your existence. I think she gave us and realized there are most likely many more babies to come. You have started to play on your play mat and will sit in your bouncer for super short amounts of time. I love that you need to touch me all the time. I wear you in the Moby many hours every day and neither of us tire of it. In fact, you started holding your head up so well in the last month and I am going to go ahead and thank babywearing for that. You still gag on pacifiers and bottles so "eating mommy's tummy" as Eden says happens every 2 hours or less. I love having a son. It is something I never knew I would say. Each day your daddy and I get more and more excited to see you grow and learn new things. Goodness I love you so. 

Love,

Your slightly obsessed mother.