Project 52:4 | Friendship

I don't know what we did to deserve it, but we have seriously been blessed with the most amazing friends. Some days I feel like we are always taking from our friends...I mean seriously, we require a lot of energy...but somehow they love us and know that we love them. 

I've loved watching Eden grow up with her little pal boyfriend Beckett. Although they are 9 months apart, they have become best buddies. This past week Eden even started showing signs of regression from spending time with him...she spent an entire day crawling and rolling from her tummy to her back just as Beckett is doing. My goodness. I don't even want to think what she would do if we were to have a baby right now! Eden loves taking care of him though and that's a good thing because his mommy and I spend a heckuva lot of time together. I'm sure we will get plenty of eye rolls as Kirsten and I have yet another craft day in the week as they grow older. I figure its just another excuse for them to play right?! 

All this to say, we know some amazing people. We have best friends, friends, and acquaintances that all have a special place in our hearts. We love them all for who they are. Each has a unique story to tell which just pushes us to be better people. God truly blessed us with a wonderful group of people to share our lives with, to laugh with, to tell jokes that aren't funny and yet they laugh anyway with, to cry with...the list could go on forever. Thank you dear friends for being there for us even when it feels like we can't give back nearly as much as you give to us.   

*Sidenote. Please laugh that Eden's face may permanently be in a "kissy face" position. Literally she puckers up those lips to everybody and everything! That girl needs an intervention. She couldn't eat the other night because there was a Santa (fake of course) sitting on our dining room table (our version of storage) and she just wanted to kiss him. Over and over. Its becoming ridiculous. And yet so cute. 

And of course....

For more Project 52 goodness, check out these fine blogs:

styleberry BLOG, Lucas and Mahina, Wicked Kate, The Mog Blog

Let me know if you want to join in on the fun! It's never too late to start your Project 52 :)

This Is Where Our Story Begins

Don't worry, my Project 52 is coming...but I had a little something on my heart that I wanted to share. Specifically a blog, and a book, and a young woman who is on an incredible journey.

I was introduced to Katie's blog during a MOPS meeting. A few women at my table were talking about her and were so passionate and excited as they described who she was and what she was doing. I took note and told myself I should find out more, but time got the best of me and I never got a chance. However, today, I remembered. I'll most definitely say it was a God thing because I happened to be on one blog, that directed me to another blog with a Gotcha Day video (a video that shows the journey to bringing a child in to their forever home). The blog that had posted their Gotcha Day video of their little girl that they had brought home from Ethiopia last year also had a video of Katie. Intrigued, I watched...and I was broken. 

*For those of you reading this not on our actual blog, there is a video embedded into this post. If you don't see it you'll need to click on to the blog to see it. Trust me, its worth it :)

This is a woman of faith. Courage. One who shows grace and mercy to all that she meets. A young woman who is now a mom to thirteen beautiful girls. She has an amazing testimony and yet she is completely humble. While we can all sit here praising her for all that she has done, she merely sees herself as a vessel. A child of God that is just following what He commands. 

I've been feeling like through all of the hardships that my little family has been going through that God has something BIG in store. Every day I feel it. I feel that tug in my heart that says, "Listen. Go. Be open. Be available." I have no idea what it means. I have no idea what God is planning. I just feel confident that it's something that is going to stretch me beyond my little bubble. I have lived a VERY safe life. I let excuses get in the way of doing God's work. I know that this may just be a time for us to minister to the precious little life God blessed us with...we want Eden to grow to be a loving and caring young woman...but maybe being safe isn't helping her at all. I wish God was leading us to adoption right now. My heart aches each and every day knowing that there are babies and children waiting for a family. I know our baby is out there and that God will bring us to that child when the time is right. I know He can do incredible things, but its hard to see that when our lives are just so incredibly unpredictable right now. We can't afford food for our one child, so we most definitely can't provide it for another. That's hard. It hurts. But it's true. So, for that part of our story, I will continue to wait for God's timing. For now, Josh and I both know something crazy is about to go down and I am going to work to let my guard down and break that bubble I live in so we can follow the path that God has created for us.

Am I scared? You betcha. But, I am ready. And I know it's going to be so worth it. 

Here am I Lord, send me. Isaiah 6:8

16 Months

Yikes. I am so totally behind on this update. The car breaking down, the first snow of the season, and the basement flooding all kind of took over and there was just no time for anything more. So, here I am, posting about Eden's sixteenth month when we are really not all that far from her seventeenth month. Oh well, I think this is mostly for me anyway because I am sure most of you don't care what Eden said, ate, and played with yesterday. 

Things You Love

Tangled (she could watch this on repeat)

Super Why (we all have the songs memorized)

Your nativity set

The Ball Popper

Puzzles

Saying "no" 

Hanging out at grandma and grandpa's

The iPad

Reading every book in the house

Helping clean up toys

Playing with Bella

Beckett (her baby boyfriend)

Your friends at the church nursery

DANCING

Things You Don't Love

Meat

Shopping

Having accidents on the floor

Getting your hair washed

Things You Have Learned

Animal Sounds: moo, neigh, baa, woof (uf uf), meow

Words: ball, dog, Bella, No, Yes, Grapes, Cheese, Crackers, Please, Peas, Puffs, Milk, Peepee, PooPoo, Papa (grandpa), Louela (Lola), hello, buh bye, "Beeeeeee!" (Aunt Brooke)...there's more, I just can't remember them all!

Signs: please, more (you learned this one on your own somehow), thank you

Funny things...every time you see an animal you say "moo" even though you know cows say "moo" and you typically know what the other animals say as well. You think its hilarious. You have learned to laugh at us...not because we are tickling you...but because you are starting to understand that your parents are the funniest people EVER (seriously we are). Your opinion has only become stronger and now you make it clear if you don't like something. You got your first molar!

First snow of the season and I had to blur it out so you couldn't tell that really there was hardly any snow!

I feel like she looks so much older in this photo...sigh.

The girl of many faces...this one was occurring too frequently and then we realized she was working on a molar.

I can't believe we are just about to February! Things have been more than crazy around our house. I am feeling slightly overwhelmed. I'll talk about it when the time is right, but for now I am going to go get some work done before Eden wakens from her naptime! I look forward to being back to blogging...

Project 52:3 | Time

It seems like each and every day I have the same internal battle where I continually beat myself up over how much time I spend with Eden. Yes, I am at home with her every single day, but is that enough? Is it enough to be in the same room if I am doing my own thing and not actively engaging in her play? I don't think that we are meant to have our focus 100% with our children every moment of every day, that would be impossible. However, I do think it is so vital that we are intentional with our time. That we make it a point to show them that they matter. It's funny to me that every time I think I am the only one who struggles with this, I have five friends who admit they are going through the same thing.

Likewise, my time needs to be intentional with my husband as well. With our busy schedules we often times only spend quality time together a couple hours one night a week. We have done our best to lay aside Friday nights as our family night. Once Eden goes to bed, Josh and I are able to spend time doing devotionals, watching a movie, and getting to take time to actually talk. We talk a lot, but rarely about the deeper subjects of life. In a world where we are so consumed by activities it is so hard to find the time to sit still and relish your husband (or boyfriend, friend...whomever!). 

Lastly, time with God. I love my Creator and I have mentioned that once or twice or so on here. I'm finding it so much harder to find time to spend with Him. This is something I am constantly improving on. It's amazing how the one person in my life who is more important to me than anything is the one I tend to spend the least amount of time with. This saddens my heart and I want to make Him a priority.

Wow, time really is a sore subject for me. I struggle with it all of the time. I hope I can be an encouragement to all of you out there. 

For more Project 52 goodness, check out these fine blogs:

styleberry BLOG, Lucas and Mahina, Wicked Kate, The Mog Blog

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Things have been quite interesting around here. Our state has been inundated with flooding. Looking at the streets in our city makes it feel like we are watching a movie. It just seems so unreal. We never have any disasters in our area so this flooding has been quite devastating to many. Please keep Oregon in your thoughts and prayers! Thankfully the flooding we dealt with in our home was minimal and the things that were lost were trivial compared to what others may have lost. 

Christmas 2011...Better Late Than Never?

So, where did the time go? Suddenly I was realizing Christmas was a week away, and now its a whole new year! Between the holidays, getting to help the besties but together a nursery for their baby girl, helping plan a baby shower, and dealing with all of the financial junk that we are going through right now...well, I just don't even have a moment to sit. I am starting to notice my feet are absolutely killing me by mid-day because I never rest. I never knew standing in your bare feet all day could be so painful. I'm loving this time though (well except for that last part). I am now going to try to play catch up, at least on posting Christmas...and eventually I'll make it to the new year.

We saw Santa. 

Side story. After this year Josh and I have really been praying about if we wanted to do Santa or not. He was fine either way, but I was so dead set on continuing the Santa traditions that I had grown up with. Well, something changed because I honestly kept feeling like the whole Santa thing just wasn't right for our family. This shocked me! I never thought I would say that. To be honest I used to think people who didn't have Santa in their home were just plain bonkers (sorry friends!). However, we started to realize that we felt like it was taking away from our Savior's birth and honestly, we felt that by adding in new traditions we wouldn't even miss the old ones. We will still watch all of our favorite Santa inspired movies, we will still bake cookies (we just won't put them out for Santa to eat, but probably give them to friends and family), we will read "The Night Before Christmas" and all those sorts of things...but it will all lead back to Jesus' birth. Please note we have nothing against Santa...in fact we LOVED him growing up. I'm still in shock that this decision came to us as it did. So, by all means, have Santa visit your homes, we think there are so many great things about that bearded man. 

We went to Washington to spend time with Josh's side of the family and had so much fun. We rode a train (something we won't be doing until Eden is MUCH older, that girl knows how to throw the best tantrums at the worst times), played at the pool (indoor of course), had lots of Christmas meals, saw lots of family, opened presents, and had lots of fun!

The tutu we made Stevee

Afraid Eden learned to put her hands on her neck when she is overwhelmed from me...I do it a lot.

The kidlets (cousins and second cousins and such)..the best one I could get. My child is mean to her cousin. You can't see Peyton. You can kind of see Darren. Julia is cut off. James is hiding behind the couch. So Caleb and Eden are stars of the show apparently.

This year we made almost all of our gifts. I'll have to do a separate post on that one. 

We all came home late on Christmas Eve so that we could spend Christmas morning opening presents at home, going to church, and then eating Christmas dinner with my side of the family...oh and of course open more gifts.

Obviously Christmas was too much for Eden this year. 

Project 52:2 | Peace

I love nap time. While I don't take them, Eden NEEDS them. More like, I need her to take one. I love her more than anything, but those two hours are bliss. I use them to rush around and clean as much as I can. Sometimes I even fit in a light lunch. Rarely do I put up my feet and relax, but that's alright, I'll save that for retirement. For now, I am enjoying the fact that God gave us nap time so we can be refreshed and rejuvenated for our kidlets...because you know you can feel the steam coming out your ears by the time nap time rolls around..

For more Project 52 goodness, check out these fine blogs:

styleberry BLOG, Lucas and Mahina, Wicked Kate

It's not too late to join in! If you are thinking about it, just do it. I am already so excited about the idea of compiling these into a photo book or something (yeah...like I am ever that organized) at some point. If you do it, let me know and I'll link up to you! 

*I'm sorry I've been such a bad blogger. I am shoulder deep in event planning and you know when I plan an event I go all crazy and have no life right? My poor family...I am so neglectful sometimes. Yet, they know I love it and they love me for it. Thanks family, I appreciate you. Anyway, I still need to catch up on Christmas, New Years, resolutions, goals...oh my goodness I don't know where to begin. I'll be back though, that I can promise!

Project 52:1 | Joy

Just because my goal to put myself out there with photography was SO last year, it doesn't mean I shouldn't keep pushing myself right? Right. So, I wanted to do something that would get me to try a few new things, while also giving me a reason to be better at documenting specific parts of my life. See, I find that I am good at taking photos when Eden is dressed up, or the house looks halfway decent, but to get a photo of our daily life? That just doesn't happen as often as it should. I know one day that will bother me. So, I started to consider taking a photo a day.

That idea was quickly squashed. Actually committing to do something every day for an entire year is just not something I can do. I am so very willing to admit it. I thought some more and then realized I LOVED seeing people post their project 52 photos. The concept of project 52 is that you take one photo a week. You can find blogs that actually give you a specific topic to follow or you can just make something up and go for it. I chose the latter. The thing is, the past few months have been extremely stretching for us. We no longer wonder what its like to run out of toilet paper and pray that we will find enough change to buy some more because we are living that right now. It has been a humbling experience, but one we would never trade. Honestly, we feel blessed to be living through this. I never truly understood how people would become so desperate. I get it now. 

The great news? We have learned so much and are growing because of everything we are going through. We are pushing forward and are doing everything we can to get out of this situation. Some days I feel so raw from the emotions that come with all of this. I don't feel sad for us, not one bit...but I just so desperately want to give Eden a better life. I would be dishonest to say that there haven't been some days where I just feel down. Mainly because while I don't feel ready to bring another child into our family (I am really struggling with the thought of changing up the great dynamics we already have) some days it bothers me that I can't due to the situation we find ourselves in. It's silly really...I mean, I just said I am not ready. The doctor even said I am not ready until at least March. Yet, I see the way Eden takes care of babies and it is so evident that she will make a wonderful big sister. I would love to see her with a baby brother or sister, but at this time I would find it irresponsible to try for another child. So, unless God blesses us with a child despite the "barriers" then it will be awhile before we can grow our family. Wow, I definitely have no shortage of words today. Basically this was a long way of saying I am using this "project" to see the blessings we have in a new light.

My Project 52 is going to be titled, "New Beginnings." This year looks like its going to be full of unknowns and changes and through all that I want to be able to see all of God's great promises. So, here's week one. 

Guess what? My idea to do the whole take a photo 365 days in a row actually was reborn. I found a great app called My365 that you can just upload your photos to and it even puts them into a calendar so you can see what day you took them! I am doing this with the camera on my phone to get more of the random shots. Those won't be as well thought out as the ones I display for project 52. If you have ever considered embarking on a photo a day journey, try the app...it definitely has me motivated! Also, I know that sounds rather ridiculous...me talking about my fancy phone when I just said we can't buy toilet paper. I'm not going to get into it, but just know that it was a gift. Yes, I have a hard time having fancy things. However, I have many people who for some reason think I actually deserve them and for that I am thankful. 

Thank you all for blessing us each day. We have great family, friends, and readers of this little blog baby and we are grateful.

Want to join in? Leave me a comment with your blog address so I can link to you..and in return you can do the same and link to mine. It will be fun!

For more Project 52 inspiration check out these other blogs:

styleberry BLOG, Lucas and Mahina