Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Blessed Beyond Measure

Music has always had a great impact on my life. If you were to look at what I'm listening to you could pretty much gather where I am at in life. Music moves me. It inspires me.

One song meant more to me yesterday than it ever has. 

I have heard Laura Story's "Blessings" many times before, but I never FELT it. It is a beautiful song, but it just did not have that strong impact on my life like so many other songs do. Yesterday, it came on and I was a weeping mess. I heard it was a song to cry to, but it takes a lot to move me to tears. I like to think I am strong (I am not). Anyway, if you need to remember the love God has for you and the blessings He has given you, listen. It is a beautiful song. 



After listening I pray you will be inspired to start a blessings jar. I had one sitting out, but had not done much with it until yesterday. A blessings jar is simply that...a jar that you can fill with your blessings. I have little pieces of paper next to the jar for us to write the great things God has done for us. I saw an idea like this on Pinterest and the idea there is to read them at the end of the year. I think we will probably read them more often, as needed. On those days where I am having trouble seeing the blessings. It is such a great reminder of the things God is doing in our lives. Trust me, if you are having trouble seeing the light through the darkness today, start writing down all the things you are grateful for and all the blessings that God has given you. It may take awhile to think of things, but once you start, they will keep flowing. Our God is gracious and has blessed you much more than you can ever imagine. Let Him bless you today. 


"Blessings"

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Monday, January 21, 2013

Bright Hope For Tomorrow


This stage in our lives has me reflecting a lot. Reflecting on all that God has done and all that God will do in our lives. To say that we have dealt with our fair share of struggles financially is an understatement, but oh how He has always blessed us. We have had so many people say things like, "that must be so hard," "I can't imagine going through what you do." But you know what? We feel like we have more than we ever have. It sounds crazy. I know. I never would have believed it myself. We may not have fancy cars (actually it's not even plural for us as we have sold all but our minivan), a house, pretty decor, nice clothes...but wow do we have a lot. We have a lot of love and devotion for each other and in turn a greater appreciation for others. 

As we have gone through all of our financial struggles we actually have found it very therapeutic to rid ourselves of the excess. This seems so counterproductive, but wow does it feel good. For the first time we are starting to feel free. Free of the burden of carrying around stuff. The stuff wasn't doing anything for us. It was taking up space, annoying to move, and didn't make us feel good. So, we have been purging our stuff for months. I told Josh, despite the fact that we have donated or sold so much I still feel like we have too much. 

A lot of times we take moments to reflect on Africa. Africa is a place our heart is broken for as we have mentioned many times before. It's a place we hope to spend time in sometime in the future (sometime soon hopefully!). It's the place we feel lead to bring home our babies from. God put that place on our hearts and man, it won't leave. I think of how many people there live in small huts with only the clothes they have on their backs. And yet, many of them will tell you they are blessed. Something we want to stay convicted of is not letting the idea of excess keep us from ministry. 

Our next move will be to a small place...I can guarantee that. In fact, even if we became millionaires tomorrow, we still want a modest house. I can't explain it, but we just don't want what we don't need. Do we really need a home with 5 bedrooms? Nope. When we were moving out o four house and talking about our next apartment we kept saying we NEED 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. There was no negotiation. Then one day Josh and I looked at each other and realized our motivation was totally off. We wanted three bedrooms because we thought more space would make it all better. And the 2nd bathroom? Because we didn't want to share a bathroom with kids and guests. REALLY?! That's not to say it's wrong to have more bedrooms and bathrooms, but for us our motivation was wrong. We want to live small so that we can give big. That's our goal. No matter what our financial situation looks like, this won't change. I love living radically. It definitely makes us a little "weird," but wasn't Jesus considered "weird" to many? We don't want to be the same as everyone else. 

All this to say, I have had the words "strength for today, bright hope for tomorrow," playing in my head repeatedly so I decided to make to make this little reminder that I can print out and have on our wall. Trust me, I am not perfect. I need strength daily to live radically. It's not easy, I don't want you to get the impression it is. But boy, does it rock your world in the best way. Try it..I guarantee you'll like it. 

Great is thy faithfulness!

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Christmas...Just About A Month Late

In true Mallory fashion, I am posting Christmas just a little bit late. Or a lot. And in all honesty it'll probably take me a couple different times to finally publish this post, but hey, I am getting there. My goal is before February alright?

Not much to say...we did Christmas in our usual fashion. A trip up north to visit the Crain side for a few days and to celebrate at their annual Christmas party. Then back home at 1 a.m. on Christmas day to have a little family time and then celebrate with my side. It was crazy as always, but fun. Adding a second child will definitely make next Christmas a bit more interesting....








Row 1: our christmas tree // pretty packaging// relaxing in washington // train set // christmas lights
Row 2: lights // advent reading // work party // stockings // gifts
Row 3: cousins // grammie love // decor // stevee // picking out xmas tree
Row 4: singing at church // xmas at the capitol // cheeeeese // manger scene // repeat train set

This was our first official year without Santa. Last year we decided that doing the whole Santa thing just didn't work for our family. This year solidified that decision. Ironically, Eden was OBSESSED with the bearded man. Made for a few laughs. We just treat Santa like Mickey Mouse...he's imaginary, but we haven't seen the harm in letting her have fun watching Christmas movies and such. We are definitely not at a point where we are going to hole up in our house and not let her out for fear of the jolly man. No way. We didn't go sit on his lap (might be creepy if we all sat on his lap anyway), but we think the discussion of Saint Nicholas is a good one so we are all for the fun of it all as long as the focus stays on our Savior.

I think we had a great balance this year. We had a list of things we would like to do. Not HAVE to, just if the time was right and it worked out we would do a few of the traditions. I was a little disheartened by some of the things I heard this holiday season. Many moms throwing mini fits about how this or that went wrong and they didn't get to do everything on their list. PEOPLE. This is not what Christmas is about. It's taken me 28 years to get to that point, but I am so glad that my focus has changed. This was the best Christmas. Not because we got a lot of new things or anything, but because we focused on Christ and doing traditions that helped us grow as a family. We didn't worry about gifts. Last year we did the whole something you want/need/read/wear thing, but this year we decided to focus on keeping the gifts to a maximum of three, just like the wise men brought baby Jesus. So, so good for our family and our wallets. It turned into a great way to remember that our Savior received three gifts, so why should we receive more? Besides, do any of us really NEED anything? I mean, seriously think about it. We all have an overabundance of stuff compared to the rest of the world. I know that no one in our family needed to add to the pile of stuff we already have. This helps keep gift giving intentional. 

Basically this Christmas rocked in the best ways. It was the first year I happily put away the decor knowing that just because the holiday season was over, the whole point of Christmas was not. While it's fun to celebrate Jesus' birth on a special day each year, we really should be celebrating EVERY DAY. So, putting away the ornaments didn't mean Christmas was over at all. How refreshing. 

Thank you Jesus for coming to earth as a man. Sacrificing your life for ours. 


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Rock The Bump

So, it's time for me to give up on ever seeing my photos from my old computer again (sorry 5 week photo) and move on. I mean seriously...the baby will be here in just over 2 months and I haven't posted any bump photos. I've been documenting this pregnancy, just haven't put them out for the rest of the world.

This pregnancy we decided to do a photo every 5 weeks. Sadly, I missed week 25, but instead of throwing a fit, we just documented week 28. No harm done. For Eden I did updates for almost every doctor appointment, but now I feel like there's not much to say. Israel is growing the way he should and this pregnancy has been relatively easy for me. I am okay with that. 

Last Friday we had an appointment with our doctor. The appointment where you get poked and prodded like crazy...you know the one. Peeing in a cup (my new doctor doesn't make you do them until week 28! Love that), glucose test (more on that later), Rhogam shot (for those of us who are RH-), blood work, and then a culture of an infection I have had for a month and a half. I felt violated. Other than that, so far everything looks great!

I really want to do a post on having a natural pregnancy. I am very passionate about it and have been able to reap the benefits of a much easier pregnancy which I think is due to the choices I made before getting pregnant and during pregnancy. One of those choices happens to be my rejection of the glucose drink. Yep, I said no to the chemical filled sugary substance we all know and love :::insert sarcasm::: I'll explain why I chose to reject it and what I did instead when I write more about having a natural pregnancy...because let's face it..there's a whole lot of babies coming into the world lately. 

Now time to show off my ever growing giganticness. Don't worry, I'm totally cool with it. I like that he is growing big and strong in there. Even if it hurts. A lot. The days of peeing every 10 minutes is upon me. 



And..I just realized that more of my photos were on my old computer. FAIL. Deep frustration happening over here. I'll just have to add those later on I suppose. And wow, what a difference 8 weeks made for that boy. No wonder I am uncomfortable and can't reach my feet. Maybe I should mention that I'm too cheap to buy maternity pants so I squeeze myself into unbuttoned and unzipped jeans and want to cry by the end of the day? Yep. Even if I would spend the money, they just don't make my size. Such is the life of a small person I suppose. And whoa. The hair. Someone find me some scissors and chop it off. I mentioned heading to Great Clips the other day, but I hear their prices aren't that great. Um....seriously?! Josh may be cutting my mangy hair off. 

Let me not forget the most important thing. Our c-section was officially scheduled! I'm so not celebrating the c-section, but it is fun to know that officially, on March 21, unless he decides to come sooner, Israel will be in our arms! Yes, this overwhelms me. Most everything does. I've had a few people ask why we are doing a c-section. Here's a brief overview. I delivered Eden, she came out fine, and then I passed out. Didn't really happen like that, but you can read Part 1 and Part 2 of our birth story to understand what happened (if you are squeamish about blood maybe don't read it...just know it was bad). Anyway, after not being told anything by the doctors at the clinic I had been at, doing my own research, and meeting with a new doctor...I figured out that what happened to me was NOT OKAY and was pretty much caused by doctor error. By pretty much, I mean it was. However, without proof (none of this was written in my file after delivery) we don't know for sure what happened. This causes me to be a high risk. So, my dreams of delivering with a midwife and birthing completely naturally were shot. After three talks with my new doctor we all agreed that for me, the safest way to deliver this baby was through a c-section. I know the controversies, I agree they are overused, but I am staying confident in my doctor's wisdom. This will be our last pregnancy (unless God works some miracles) so we are praying that everything will go smoothly. I actually have a plan to make this feel a bit more natural despite the fact that it's a surgery. I am presenting it to my doctor at my next appointment and praying that she and the hospital will be receptive to it. We will see.

Anyway, that's enough blabbing about my little boy. Hope you enjoyed seeing a large belly on your screen ;)

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

My Word For The Year


Today is the start of a new year. 2013. The year that will probably bring about many more changes for our family (it's just what we are good at). Last year was overwhelming at times and yet so full of blessings. We said goodbye to the house we had owned for 2.5 years which obviously was a little hard in some ways, and yet so freeing. God pushed us and changed us a whole lot in the last year and we are so thankful. There were tears, lots and lots of tears, but there were also moments of rejoicing...even during a crazy move and all of the phone calls we had to endure. Seriously, we feel so blessed. Obviously, the best news of the year was finding out we were pregnant with our second baby, only by the grace of God, and we found out it was a boy! We never planned to have two kids of our own before adopting, we just were open to it if God wanted that to be our story, and He did. 

So, here we are entering a new year. It will be a year of moving again most likely (although nothing is guaranteed that's for sure and that is fine). It will be the year that we bring home our baby boy and navigate life with two kids. It'll be another year of us asking God to push us and stretch us no matter how hard it may be. 

This year I wanted to choose a word that would help me to define what I want to see in myself and my family. The word instantly came to me as I prayed for something great for our family this year. Intentional. I want to be intentional in 2013. Intentional means to be done on purpose or deliberately. I want each choice I make to be thought out. As I parent two kids I want to know that I am choosing to live my day for God and in turn making sure that my time is dedicated to loving my babies, playing with them, and showing them that they are important. This is also true for Josh. I want to be intentional in loving him. Our time together is much more limited these days with his work schedule so I want to ensure that I am loving to him when he is around. Most importantly, I want our family to be intentional with our lives. The way we live each day. How we spend our money. Not living beyond our means or even within our means, but below our means. Our prayer is that we learn to live with less this year. I am hoping to share our journey that we have already begun...one of purging the STUFF that was taking up space in our home, the STUFF that was not helping our family, the STUFF that was taking over our lives and making us feel overwhelmed and pressured. Our goal is to have a home that is devoted to only things that we love and that are helpful to our family. We are also praying that by living this way it will get us much closer to missionary work and of course, adoption. These two things have been on our hearts for some time so we are working hard to be ready when God calls us to action.

Intentional. I love it. I am ready for whatever challenges it may bring. 

Happy New Year my friends! Excited to see what a new year will bring for all of you!