This stage in our lives has me reflecting a lot. Reflecting on all that God has done and all that God will do in our lives. To say that we have dealt with our fair share of struggles financially is an understatement, but oh how He has always blessed us. We have had so many people say things like, "that must be so hard," "I can't imagine going through what you do." But you know what? We feel like we have more than we ever have. It sounds crazy. I know. I never would have believed it myself. We may not have fancy cars (actually it's not even plural for us as we have sold all but our minivan), a house, pretty decor, nice clothes...but wow do we have a lot. We have a lot of love and devotion for each other and in turn a greater appreciation for others.
As we have gone through all of our financial struggles we actually have found it very therapeutic to rid ourselves of the excess. This seems so counterproductive, but wow does it feel good. For the first time we are starting to feel free. Free of the burden of carrying around stuff. The stuff wasn't doing anything for us. It was taking up space, annoying to move, and didn't make us feel good. So, we have been purging our stuff for months. I told Josh, despite the fact that we have donated or sold so much I still feel like we have too much.
A lot of times we take moments to reflect on Africa. Africa is a place our heart is broken for as we have mentioned many times before. It's a place we hope to spend time in sometime in the future (sometime soon hopefully!). It's the place we feel lead to bring home our babies from. God put that place on our hearts and man, it won't leave. I think of how many people there live in small huts with only the clothes they have on their backs. And yet, many of them will tell you they are blessed. Something we want to stay convicted of is not letting the idea of excess keep us from ministry.
Our next move will be to a small place...I can guarantee that. In fact, even if we became millionaires tomorrow, we still want a modest house. I can't explain it, but we just don't want what we don't need. Do we really need a home with 5 bedrooms? Nope. When we were moving out o four house and talking about our next apartment we kept saying we NEED 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. There was no negotiation. Then one day Josh and I looked at each other and realized our motivation was totally off. We wanted three bedrooms because we thought more space would make it all better. And the 2nd bathroom? Because we didn't want to share a bathroom with kids and guests. REALLY?! That's not to say it's wrong to have more bedrooms and bathrooms, but for us our motivation was wrong. We want to live small so that we can give big. That's our goal. No matter what our financial situation looks like, this won't change. I love living radically. It definitely makes us a little "weird," but wasn't Jesus considered "weird" to many? We don't want to be the same as everyone else.
All this to say, I have had the words "strength for today, bright hope for tomorrow," playing in my head repeatedly so I decided to make to make this little reminder that I can print out and have on our wall. Trust me, I am not perfect. I need strength daily to live radically. It's not easy, I don't want you to get the impression it is. But boy, does it rock your world in the best way. Try it..I guarantee you'll like it.
Great is thy faithfulness!
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