Baby Diaries

We are back with the story about how we found out about the little Crain, and no this will not include where babies come from (thanks Ashley for that warning). However, we do intend on being very honest in this whole pregnancy process. I have found that after reading some posts from other bloggers about their pregnancies that their honesty is what truly has helped me understand all the weird things I have gone through thus far.

So, as we hinted in the first baby post, we have known that I was pregnant for awhile now. It all started on Tuesday, January 19th at 6:00 a.m. I had been feeling pretty positive that I was pregnant, however Josh was not feeling so positive and I think he may have even rolled his eyes a bit when I said we HAD to get a pregnancy test (he would never admit to this). We had taken a few before which had all been negative, so I didn't really blame him, but at the same time I wanted to know for sure that this time was just like every time. Bleary-eyed, I stumbled down the stairs (we were at my parents at the time due to the flood of '09) and peed on the stick. Now I will admit, I may have felt like I was pregnant, but I certainly wasn't ready for what I was about to see. Not even 2 seconds went by when I looked over and saw those two lines clear as day. I looked away at least a dozen times and every time I looked at it, the result was the same: POSITIVE. Were we hoping to be pregnant? Absolutely! So why was it that I felt so overwhelmed right at that moment?

I ran up the stairs (well really I think my legs were as heavy as lead) and with words that were hardly deciphered started saying, "Josh, Josh, I'm pregnant!!!" Yes, he was very much asleep and very much confused as he woke up. I hyperventilated. It made me feel bad. Josh cried which made me feel worse because I knew they were tears of joy. All I could think was we had no means for taking care of a baby. We still had a whole house to renovate. WE ONLY HAD ONE BATHROOM!!! Yes, that was one of my biggest concerns. What didn't help with all of this was the fact that I had to go to work in an hour. Let me just admit now, that was the most unproductive I have ever been. I am sure I hung up on people multiple times that day without even noticing.

It took some calming words from Josh for me as well as tons of prayer to realize that we WANTED this. We were praying for a baby and we had our prayers answered. How could I not be excited? Most people know that we actually were not even sure that we could have a baby of our own so the fact that we got pregnant so quickly just stunned us. It was amazing what God had done for our little family. At first I felt guilty about all the thoughts I had when I first found out. I had always expected to scream in excitement and yet all I could do was worry. I realize now that it was completely natural. I was becoming a mom and I just wanted to know without a doubt that I could give this baby the best life ever.

Josh and I are elated. We love this little baby with all of our hearts. Bella is still our first born child (or dog as many people call her), but it will be so much fun to have a little baby around. It makes our family feel complete. Mommy and daddy can't wait to meet you Baby Crain!!

P.S. Sorry for the lack of pictures!